Path of Blood – Chapter 5.

 

Chapter 5 – Morning Dew Auction House.

 

Editor : Dark Elves.

 

Sponsored Chapter.


 

 

 

*Tuk,Tuk*

“Wh...who is it?” asked Zilan as he stood up from his desk.

A light sigh was heard coming from behind the door.

“Zilan, I know something happened yesterday in town. Let me in so we can talk.”

 

Zilan stared at the door for a while before sitting back down and resuming his work. His hands moved at a speed that would shock anyone who saw it. With each breath, at least half a page had been filled with words written in a very strange language.

Some time passed and Zilan was still scribbling down things in his book, when suddenly he heard a knock on the door once again.

*Tuk,Tuk*

Annoyed by the constant nagging, Zilan couldn’t help but lash out,

“Leave me be! Must I report all that goes on in my life to you!? Just leave me be.”

*Silence.*

No sound could be heard from the two but you could still feel Uncle’s presence behind the door.

“A message from Miss Hula was sent to the restaurant, she said that you should be at the Auction House by sunset. I came to ask if you would still attend or should I cancel.”

Zilan pondered for a moment before finally speaking,

“I’ll go!”

With that ,his Uncle also walked away from the door, not saying anything more.

“If only, I could do something. However, truly the heavens are fair. But it is from that fairness that comes this life that I, no, that all like me are forced to live.”

Zilan stood there with a smile that seemed to show more sorrow than happiness, plastered on his face.

He walked towards his desk and picked up his book, and four stars again appeared in his pupils.

He turned to the very first page of the book where thirty names were written in blood red, all with the same surname.

Trios Zaum.

Lilo Zaum.

Hensro Zaum.

.........

All the way to the final name,

Zilan Zaum.

Written at the bottom of the page were these words,

Keep this story and treasure it, for without this tale, we would never have truly opened our eyes.”

Zilan turned the next page and on it was a story that was only a page long,

Life of Zaum.

In a place plagued with dying land, dried up rivers and where even the heavens divine light did not shine.

A single tribe of people lived. They supported each other and through perseverance were able to somehow survive.

Each year, the tribe could only have one child as that was all they could support.

On the five hundredth year of the tribe’s existence, a child was born and he was named Zaum which meant Star in their language.

The child was born frail and weak unlike previous children so a meeting was held on whether or not to kill the child. After much debate, it was decided that after five years, the child would be slain and eaten as that would benefit both the tribe and the child’s parents.

Time passed and after three years, the child had only grown a fifth of what a normal three year old should look like. However, despite this his parents didn’t care and still loved him. The child could now crawl and whenever it could escape his parents, he would head to the hilltop and stare at the stars, stretching out his hand and laughing by himself.

These strange acts caused the tribe elders to believe the child to be mad however, that didn’t change the fact that in two years he would be no more.

Another year passed and the child had stopped going to the hilltop. In fact, the child had stopped talking altogether, spending most of his time alone staring into the distance.

One night when the sky was clear, and the moon was at it’s brightest.

Five giant stars seemed to appear out of thin air, slowly revolving inside the moon. The villagers woke up and once they laid eyes on the five stars, their brains turned to nothing and their bodies dissipated, except for the child’s parents who frantically searched for their child.

However, what they saw shocked them, in the child’s eyes were five stars slowly revolving. At first the parents thought that they were just a reflection of the stars in the moon however upon closer examination, they realised that it was actually the moon that was reflecting what was in the child’s eyes.

Three days and three nights passed with the child not moving from that spot, his eyes open throughout. It wasn’t until the fourth night that the child passed away, still in the same position. His parents wept and cried out to the heavens but in the end, their child was gone and so they buried him.

The next day the parents killed themselves out of sorrow.

 

Thousands of years passed and finally Zaum rose once again, he had not died that night but only that his body couldn’t contain his soul’s power therefore it died but his soul survived.

Zaum despised his fate, he had spent thousands of years unable to do anything as he recalled the scene of his parents committing suicide.

He then decided to spend the rest of his life on the path of revenge. Revenge on the heavens. However, after venturing into the vast world and exploring it, he finally understood that the heavens are truly fair and unfathomably deep.

He was stripped of his gift, no longer able to see, stripped of his freedom, turned into a cripple and finally he was slain by a common practitioner in a tiny realm who knew nothing of the workings of the vast world.

However, before his death, Zaum had left a book along with a descendant who was the only one who could comprehend the things within.

The book was titled PATH and held the last remaining bits of knowledge that Zaum had gained from his three night enlightenment. Depending on it’s owner, the book would guide him on their respective paths until they ultimately died.

 

Only those of the line of Zaum are worthy of following a Path and knowing of this tale.

.................

 

Zilan closed the book and turned to the cover where written in bold blood red was the words,

“Path of Blood.”

It looks like no matter how much I try to deny it, this truly is the path meant for me.

 

Zilan threw the book on his bed and with conviction said,

“So be it!”

 

The MorningDew Auction house.

 

Carriages of varying shapes and sizes filled the road to the Auction house with waves after wave of people, all dressed in luxurious attire moving in.

The Morning Dew auction house was located on the outskirts of the city. The main reason for this being it’s sheer size. It would be absolutely impossible for a structure such as the auction house to be built within the city.

Although it was called “Auction House” the Morning Dew Auction house was actually much more than that. It resembled a giant triangle from above but in truth was actually six separate smaller buildings packed closely together.

Each building housed a different type of entertainment gathering but because of the mass popularity and need for an auction house; the structure was dubbed the name Morning Dew Auction House.

......

At the front of the main building, a luxurious carriage with a saber crest on its body pulled up.

The driver, quickly opened the carriage door and from within two people walked out.

“Hula, make sure you entertain Zilan. I’ve been summoned by the Brave of the second sector so I won’t be able to join you.”

Hula gracefully walked out of the carriage, dressed in a faint violet gown that dropped down to her ankles and was adorned with various tiny jewels and gems that glittered when exposed to the gentle light rays of sunset.

“Don’t worry father, I’ll do my best.”

Laus nodded in satisfaction before vanishing into the sea of people.

“I wonder if Zilan has arrived yet.” Thought Hula as she also went her own way.

 

In a different part of the Auction House.

 

A middle aged man stood in the middle of a large arena, a large charismatic smile on his face.

“Welcome all to tonight’s Damned Duel! As always, we will have two sides competing, the one who seeks glory and the one who seeks salvation.

From the side of glory we have the quickly rising Janam, an inner disciple of the Flaming Shade Sect who has won all nine of the fights he’s taken part in.”

As soon as the man finished announcing, a loud uproar filled the arena. Deafening chants of “Bloody Janam” rained down from above.

“Calm down, calm down. This time, we have a rare sight in the duels. Charged with smuggling and spreading the plague of the beast, the freshly captured dog from the Brivata range, Flesc the trader.”


 

 

 

 

A/n.

This chapter was sponsored by anonymous, so if you enjoyed please join me in thanking him.

 

A bit of confusion arose with the sponsoring of the chapter as the donor didn’t know how much to donate for Path of Blood and ended up sending me $40.

So for future donations, please note that a sponsored chapter will be $35.

 

Unfortunately, I can’t post this information up on the Path of Blood page as NN is going through re-development.

I apologise for any inconvenience and for the confusion.

But then again, first sponsored chapter of Path of Blood...woohoo!

 

Your humble author,

emeraldragon.

 

 

 

 

 

    

 

   

 

12 Comments

  • comment@daweb.se' Letheed says:

    You asked for comments so here is mine: I’m a little perplexed with the story so far. I feel like you’re refraining from doing information dropping (though you did for the sects ranks), which is good, but since you’re not explaining anything, I have a hard time following the story. It might not have been a problem with a book that I could read on quickly, but since we’re getting a few hundred words with every chapter, it’s rather hard to follow the story. There’s been a lot of teasing and we have a lot of questions but we haven’t gotten even a beginning of answer to most of those questions: what happened to his parents ? who was the man ? what did he do to him ? what’s he writing in the book ? what is the book ? what’s going on with his eyes ? what’s up with the weird guy that buys custard every day ? what is the tower ? where is it ? why is he even there ? why is it guarded ? why does he have insane amounts of money at 15 ?
    I don’t need detailed informations for everything but it feels to me like you’ve brushed over and introduced us to a lot of elements without giving us any key to understand any of them. This lack of references is a little unsettling and makes the story difficult to understand/follow.

    You’ve described the content of the first page of the book twice, once in chapter 2 and one in chapter 4 (or 5, can’t remember), but the content is not the same, is it not the same book ? If not it’s not obvious since you’ve not named them and basically just referred to them as “the book”.

    You haven’t described the town at all when he moves. So I don’t really know what the country, architecture, people, fauna, animals, etc. are like. That’s another lack of reference that prevents us from easily picturing your story.

    The price of the custard is just ridiculous. *50000* gold coin. Imagining a gold coin of 1 cm in radius and 1 mm in thickness, that’s 15708 cm³ of gold, weighting a total 303 kg. At the current exchange rate of gold, that’s 12 million US dollars. Even if the gold is not pure, it’s still insane.
    Also amethyst is actually not worth much. Price varies a lot depending on quality but the order of magnitude is roughly the same as gold. You might want to balance your currency a little better before the story grows.

    There are a few other incoherences/inconsistencies. I’m not sure if they come from the story or the writing (as in I’m not sure if what you imagined is incoherent or if it’s the writing that does not convey the right thing; it might just be the lack of explanations that throws me off).

    Why is he lashing out at his uncle and at the wolf? That seemed uncalled for in the case of his uncle, since he was respectfully knocking at his door and deserved an answer. There might be an explanation for lashing out at the wolf but again, you did not give an explanation, so it just seems to come out of the blue, for no good reason. Also he basically comes to the wolf to get something that he ordered from him, but gets angry when the wolf says he got it ? That doesn’t make any sense. If there’s an explanation you should provide it, otherwise your character is just a lunatic.

    Another thing that’s incoherent: the wolf is an actual wolf, with paws and claws, not some human/wolf beast hybrid. How is he articulating words, drinking from a cup, or even pouring the tea ?

    Regarding the story of the child from the tribe, why is everyone in the village dying but not his parents ? Clearly they’ve seen the starts on the moon as well. Also you state that the stars appear “out of thin air” but then you say that the stars are on the moon (although they’re just a reflection of the child’s eyes). If they appear “out of thin air”, they have to appear, somewhere in the atmosphere (well in the “air”), in front (or above) of the villagers and have a tangible existence, they can’t be an image on the moon.
    Why can’t he move for 4 days ? Why does he die ? What’s going on between him and the moon at that moment ? What does he try to get revenge for ?
    What does his “revenge” consist in ? You said he spent the rest of his life getting revenge, what exactly is he doing ? Also what happens that makes him change his mind about the “heavens” ? What exactly are you calling heavens here, gods ? fate ?

    “he had spent thousands of years unable to do anything as he watched his parents commit suicide” That sentence literally means that the act of suicide lasts thousands of years. Do you mean “after” instead of “as” ?
    There are other small mistakes like that that hinder the comprehension, and leave me trying to patch up the meaning of you sentences. (That should be the job of your editor, catching these sort of mistakes/inconsistencies though.)

    Well I won’t add anything else, there’s more but I think you have a general idea of the complains I have with the story so far: some incoherences in the story, the world or the actions, some inconsistencies that could just be english mistakes for some of them, some lack of references and explanations, though I don’t know if you’re simply withholding the info for now or if you haven’t yet thought it through (in both cases I’d suggest you add a little more details).

    On the positive side, those are not major mistakes or deal-beakers for now. You have yet to reveal what the story is about, how the cultivation system works, or what the world your story takes place in is like, so I’ll be reading at least until the story starts taking shape and I can see where you’re going.
    There are positive points: you’ve avoided a rushed-massive info drop introduction. I get the feeling that you’re trying to write a quality story. Knowing how to provide the reader with all the relevant info at the right time without making it look artificial is *exceedingly* difficult and takes a lot of anticipation, calculation, and practice. I also appreciate that you didn’t start with a main protagonist too young.

    I hope my comment doesn’t as too harsh. I’m always looking forward to good stories and I hope that helps you !

    • kiokomichael@gmail.com' Michael Kiyoko says:

      At the end of the day, the author spends time to write this novel and we get to read it for free.

      So keep your opinions to yourself.

    • kiokomichael@gmail.com' Michael Kiyoko says:

      At the end of the day, the chapters are free for you to read so the least you can do is give a “thanks for chapter” not this crap.

  • emeraldragon says:

    I’d like to start by thanking you for taking the time to comment.

    I’ll try to address all that you’ve said in the best way possible.

    For the issue of a lot of teasing and a lot of questions without even a beginning of an answer to most of the them.
    All I can say to this is that, this is a xianxia that is only five chapters in, which is literally nothing when you think about a story that will stretch for who knows how many hundreds of chapters.

    You also stated that it “feels like I’m brushing over some information and introduced a lot of elements without giving any key to understand them.”

    I don’t really understand what you mean by this as I am the author and I know what needs to and doesn’t need to be referenced in my story but if you’re looking for an explanation then the most reasonable one I can give is that this isn’t my first novel and most of the concepts that aren’t explained here are mentioned there.
    You don’t need to read it as the stories are different but for those who’ve read I fell and thus I must rise again will find it much easier to understand what goes on in Path of Blood.

    You also mentioned the fact that I’ve changed the content of the first page of the book as the chapters goes on but if you read closely you’ll find out that with every chapter I’m slowly revealing more about the book, it’s origins and it’s purpose for example in chapter 5 I revealed that the book was named PATH and has has divined that Zilan’s path will be one of blood. Thus it’s cover Path of Blood.

    The next issue you had with the story was the fact that I haven’t described the town at all when he moves, saying that I haven’t described the country, architecture, people, fauna, animals etc.

    This is the part that made me wonder if you’re really following the story because I have not only mentioned the Kingdom (Penlai) but I’ve also described various famous land marks and their design within Morning Dew City, I’ve also given a picture of Morning Dew City’s location within the kingdom. I’ve also shown that humans despise beasts.

    I’d like to go on answering you’re questions and dealing with the various issues you’ve stated with my story but unfortunately I could fill ten pages and would end up spoiling the story.

    But basically the rest of you’re issues are to do with this chapter but as you can see at the top, I haven’t placed my editor’s name meaning that this chapter hasn’t been completely gone through as I wanted to post earlier for the readers.

    Oh! and you also had some complain about Flesc being a wolf yet I already stated he walked on two legs and was dressed as a merchant which should mean he has some level of intelligence….right!?

    Again I’d like to thank you for you’re comment but this really was a little too much. I don’t know if this is you’re first time reading a xianxia or you just don’t like my story but I have to say this really wasn’t what I expected when I asked for comments and I was expecting hate.

    P.S- the 50,000 gold coins was a typo thanks for alerting me of that, it’s supposed to be 5,000. As for the amethyst coin, the value of something on earth or in whatever fantasy land doesn’t mean it will be the same in the world I create.

  • comment@daweb.se' Letheed says:

    Well no it’s not my first time reading a xianxia, I’ve already read a few hundreds of chapters in others. I’ve been reading fantasy in general for a long time, light novels for a few years. I’m used to the differences between japanese, korean and chinese backgrounds and habits in writing.

    What I mean when I point out that you brush over some things is that you’re currently setting the background of your MC and the premises that your story will build upon but many of those lack depth and coherence. Some things/scenes that are important for the comprehension of your story are recounted very quickly, lacking in details, as if we were already supposed to know what’s going on. Things are a little too vague, so to speak. That hurts your readers comprehension and the vividness of your tale.

    Yes, I have noticed that you are revealing a little more about the book. But that does not address my complain: you described the content of the first page on two occasions, and that content was not the same. That’s an incoherence. Your story is contradicting itself. You can’t say that the first page is a list of names, if in chapter 2 the first page was not a list of name.

    Regarding the lack of depictions, I am not saying that there is nothing, just that what is there is a little too light. But it might be because you’re setting your story in the same universe as your previous one and so you have yourself a pretty good idea of what things look like.
    For your readers who, like me, haven’t read it, you might want to describe again all things typical to your universe. Otherwise, you’re writing within a context that you’re not providing us with. Hence the critics.

    Finally you misunderstood my comment regarding the wolf. I never said anything about his intelligence. You write: “The wolf had the posture of a human, standing straight and walking on two legs however apart from the fur and claws […]”. So this is an actual wolf, not a mixed beast-human with wolf traits. An actual wolf that happens to stand up. So he’s got paws, with claws. No hands. No fingers. How does he pour the tea or hold the cup. He’s got a muzzle. No agile lips like we humans have. So how does he drink from the cup. Wolfs lap. They put a glass or a cup to their lips. You have to understand your readers try to picture in their imagination what you have described us. I’m just telling you that the picture you’ve given us doesn’t work. If he’s got hands and agile lips and all, then he’s not a wolf, It’s a wolf-human hybrid of some sort. I am perfectly ok with that, but you have to say it. Again the problem here might come from a lack in details that creates incoherences between what you envisioned and what we imagine.

  • emeraldragon says:

    It’s not a contradiction coz I stated that four stars appeared in his eyes…meaning the text was concealed from plain sight otherwise there would be no point in me adding that.

    I apologise if you’re dissatisfied with the story but you don’t have to read it if u dont want to….as I most definitely will not be changing the way I approach the story.

    The future of Path of blood has been well thought out and isn’t just put together as I go along.

    There are problems with my grammar sometimes and I may lack description at times(still improving in that aspect) but I know for a fact that…there are no holes in my story as I’ve spent a good long while thinking it through to the end.

  • Revolutionz3000 says:

    The story line in chapter 4 n 5 a little bit boring maybe because I cannot picture it clearly but never mind. I keep reading 3 times before I completely understand. The 1st, 2nd n 3rd chapter I think its interesting because I can imagine the correct picture. Just one to ask certain part of the story,
    Flesc – dog or half wolf because in chapter 4, you describe as half wolf n on chapter 5 a dog, very confusing.

    Each story have their own unique flow of story which mean u cannot compare this book must be the same with that book. The author have their own story, and the question is, why must the story follow the Xianxia flow of story. Your imagination cannot be the same with my imagination. If you want to read the story according to what u read a few hundreds of chapters in others maybe this is not the right book u should read. This is the author imagination. If u cannot satisfied reading this story try write a story then we, the readers, will judge the quality of your story.

    Keep up the good work emeraldragon. Thanks for sharing the 5 chapters. Really glad you can build a story to share with others.

    • emeraldragon says:

      Thank you for the kind comment, Revolutionz3000.

      As for the “dog” term that’s just a form of insult to Flesc’s pride, he is in fact a wolf who has evolved due to having reached a certain stage in his life cycle.
      I won’t reveal too much as all or most of this will be explained in the next and coming chapters so please be patient with the story and trust that I know what I’m doing.

      Also don’t worry about the chapter quality as I just happened to rush chapter 5 a bit. It will be edited and updated soon 🙂

  • Revolutionz3000 says:

    Owh, I see. I forgot about the insult. Never mind. Just my mistake. Sorry.

  • quynh-le@hotmail.dk' LiselEight says:

    Thanks for the chapter emeraldragon 🙂
    I just started reading this today and I must say that I’m looking forward to know how the story progresses.
    I just read some of the comments and just wanted to add – without trying to offend anyone – that i disagree with it containing too little information. Sure, the story does not explain everything, but I think that is the charm of the story, and also like you said; you are revealing the information neccessary for understanding the story, so I see absolutely no problem. I also love the hints you drop every so often, it’s exciting trying to guess what the story is about and I can’t wait for the next chapter 🙂

  • bradystjohn@sbcglobal.net' Bradyman says:

    Just started reading this. I like it, but the little glimpses of information are really annoying. I am not trying to insult your writing. I just wish that I found this story in a year or two, so I wouldn’t have to wait to have my questions answered. Thanks for the chapter, I can’t wait for more

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